My usual refrain as I start a post is an apology for not having written in so long. Well this time I have no apology. Some things have gone down since this summer and fall that have made me think that perhaps my mindless ramblings on trivial events aren't that important or worth writing about. Hopefully this post will be worth more than all my ramblings thus far.
I've been trying to write this particular post about my friend Rob for several months, unsuccessfully. I've struggled with expressing the impact that he has had on our lives and the love that we have for him. Well, this week, he passed away, and I'm sad that he may have never known just how important he was to me.
For those that don't know, Rob was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer at the beginning of the summer. He battled hard. Multiple rounds and types of chemo and the best doctors he could find. His positive attitude was unfailing and he held strong throughout everything. That's why it was such a shock when he came down with Pneumonia and ended up in the ICU. Sometimes cancer is just too great an opponent for even the strongest competitor.
I'm kind of a disaster when it comes to expressing emotions, so I'm just going to spew out some of my memories of Rob and I hope it doesn't come out as the least eloquent piece of writing that I've ever done.
I remember the first time I met Rob. A bunch of us went out for a ride at Box Springs, and I think I saw him for about 5 seconds at the bottom of the hill and another 5 seconds at the top. At that point he was just "that fast guy that is friends with Al", but I still remember being completely amazed that a person could ride a bike that fast. As I got to know Rob better and as I got to be a better rider, he became more prominent in my riding life. I think it was the diversity of his riding skills that was why I thought he was so awesome. He's one of the only people I know that could win 12 and 24 hour events, dominate any gnarly downhill you threw at him, and hit huge jumps like those you'd see in videos. I loved to ride downhill with him and he encouraged me every step of the way. I would try to mimic his flow on the trail and trusted his riding enough to follow him over all kinds of crazy stuff I would never dare follow someone else over. He's one of the few people other than Russell that has seen me progress from staring at a 2 foot drop in fear to hitting drops over my head with confidence. There was a day last year when I overheard him telling a bunch of fast riders that "oh yeah, Margaret kills it" (and this was on a cross country ride!). To me hearing someone I admired so much as a rider say that, was the highest compliment I could get. Simple words, but I think I glowed for a week.
The first time we really hung out with Rob was in one of his favorite (and our favorite) places -
Virgin Utah. At the end of the weekend he offered to show Russell how to do some work on his bike and from that point forward he and Russell became great friends. Whether they were riding or digging or just hanging out in the garage working on bikes, it was so great to see Russell have a friend he could count on and that he liked to spend time with so much. Rob's friendship meant a lot to Russell to say the least.
It was also after that trip when we began to discover the generous spirit that embodied this man and his family. You need to bleed your brakes? come on over. You need a spare part? borrow mine. Come on over for dinner, we're cooking, have a beer, try out my board, try out my bike, I know you can do it. I wouldn't have even had a downhill bike to ride this year if it weren't for Rob. Countless hours were spent finding me the right parts and helping me get everything together. Never a complaint even though he was working and probably helping about 10 other people with 10 other things at the same time. He truly was one of the most generous and kind people I have ever met.
When it was up to Rob, I was always invited for the downhill rides with the boys, and also invited to suffer on long xc rides with him even though he had to wait for me at the top. Rob used to text me after every race I went to to find out how it went. I remember there was a race in bootleg where I was feeling especially crappy about my riding abilities, and he sent me a series of texts telling me not to quit and telling me not to stress, to be patient and I would get faster. It really made a difference to have someone say that at that moment.
I have many more fond memories of Rob. Too many to share in a blog post. And I only knew him for a few short years. I can only imagine the pain that his passing must cause to those lucky enough to have known him for longer.
We'll always miss you Rob, and we'll ride extra hard for you.
I've been trying to write this particular post about my friend Rob for several months, unsuccessfully. I've struggled with expressing the impact that he has had on our lives and the love that we have for him. Well, this week, he passed away, and I'm sad that he may have never known just how important he was to me.
For those that don't know, Rob was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer at the beginning of the summer. He battled hard. Multiple rounds and types of chemo and the best doctors he could find. His positive attitude was unfailing and he held strong throughout everything. That's why it was such a shock when he came down with Pneumonia and ended up in the ICU. Sometimes cancer is just too great an opponent for even the strongest competitor.
I'm kind of a disaster when it comes to expressing emotions, so I'm just going to spew out some of my memories of Rob and I hope it doesn't come out as the least eloquent piece of writing that I've ever done.
I remember the first time I met Rob. A bunch of us went out for a ride at Box Springs, and I think I saw him for about 5 seconds at the bottom of the hill and another 5 seconds at the top. At that point he was just "that fast guy that is friends with Al", but I still remember being completely amazed that a person could ride a bike that fast. As I got to know Rob better and as I got to be a better rider, he became more prominent in my riding life. I think it was the diversity of his riding skills that was why I thought he was so awesome. He's one of the only people I know that could win 12 and 24 hour events, dominate any gnarly downhill you threw at him, and hit huge jumps like those you'd see in videos. I loved to ride downhill with him and he encouraged me every step of the way. I would try to mimic his flow on the trail and trusted his riding enough to follow him over all kinds of crazy stuff I would never dare follow someone else over. He's one of the few people other than Russell that has seen me progress from staring at a 2 foot drop in fear to hitting drops over my head with confidence. There was a day last year when I overheard him telling a bunch of fast riders that "oh yeah, Margaret kills it" (and this was on a cross country ride!). To me hearing someone I admired so much as a rider say that, was the highest compliment I could get. Simple words, but I think I glowed for a week.
The first time we really hung out with Rob was in one of his favorite (and our favorite) places -
Virgin Utah. At the end of the weekend he offered to show Russell how to do some work on his bike and from that point forward he and Russell became great friends. Whether they were riding or digging or just hanging out in the garage working on bikes, it was so great to see Russell have a friend he could count on and that he liked to spend time with so much. Rob's friendship meant a lot to Russell to say the least.
It was also after that trip when we began to discover the generous spirit that embodied this man and his family. You need to bleed your brakes? come on over. You need a spare part? borrow mine. Come on over for dinner, we're cooking, have a beer, try out my board, try out my bike, I know you can do it. I wouldn't have even had a downhill bike to ride this year if it weren't for Rob. Countless hours were spent finding me the right parts and helping me get everything together. Never a complaint even though he was working and probably helping about 10 other people with 10 other things at the same time. He truly was one of the most generous and kind people I have ever met.
When it was up to Rob, I was always invited for the downhill rides with the boys, and also invited to suffer on long xc rides with him even though he had to wait for me at the top. Rob used to text me after every race I went to to find out how it went. I remember there was a race in bootleg where I was feeling especially crappy about my riding abilities, and he sent me a series of texts telling me not to quit and telling me not to stress, to be patient and I would get faster. It really made a difference to have someone say that at that moment.
I have many more fond memories of Rob. Too many to share in a blog post. And I only knew him for a few short years. I can only imagine the pain that his passing must cause to those lucky enough to have known him for longer.
We'll always miss you Rob, and we'll ride extra hard for you.
Margaret-MargO-Maggie-Martha,
ReplyDeleteYour post is beautiful, and if I could ever speak on behalf of Robert, he knew just how much you meant to him. Robert wasn't one to share many emotions either, considering his way of showing love was by either fixing your bike, taunting you into pushing yourself a little harder, or those moments of encouragement that you speak of - telling you to have patience because you will get better.
You were, are and always will be a great friend of his. The memories you have and what you wrote (and said on Friday) is absolutely beautiful. It is just how he would want to be remembered. Kind in heart and intense in spirit, always encouraging and considerate, and deeply loyal.
You are a very lucky person to have gotten to know him so quickly and in the element that he felt the most at home - with dirt and bikes.
It feels impossible to sum up Robert in one moment of thought. He was such a simple and simultaneously complex person. However, the important part is that we do know him, in all of his layers, in all of his spirit, and down to his core.